DEAR DEIDRE: I’m infatuated with a younger woman at work.
Even though I’m happily married, I think about her constantly, and I don’t know how to turn off my feelings.
I’m 49 and my wife’s 47. We’ve been married for 20 years.
When I first met my colleague, 36, a year ago, we got on well as friends.
We talked about normal day-to-day things and she told me about her home life and the abusive relationship she’d just left.
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Then, slowly, my feelings began to change. She told me she got good vibes from me and, once, she looked at me so intently I thought she was going to kiss me.
Recently, she blew me a kiss and winked at me.
Since then I haven’t been able to get her off my mind.
Common sense tells me there’s no way we could be together but my feelings for her are all-consuming.
How can I stop?
DEIDRE SAYS: Even people in a great relationship can feel attracted to others sometimes. But this sounds like more than a crush.
It’s becoming an out-of-control obsession, which is affecting your life and needs tackling.
Read my support pack, Torn Between Two Women?, which should help you think through your feelings.
You say you’re happily married, but is there something lacking in your life or your relationship for you to feel this way? Be honest with yourself.
It may be wise to see if you can move teams, so you’re not working closely with this woman every day.
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