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Sex expert reveals the 'crucial' dos and don'ts of being in a throuple

28 June 2024 , 18:43
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She said managing time and expectations are important
She said managing time and expectations are important

THREE doesn't have to be a crowd — if you're doing it right.

Polyamory may not be for everyone, but for those who have more love to give, a relationship expert has broken down her dos and don'ts of being in a throuple.

Lovehoney's Annabelle Knight shared her dos and don'ts of being in a throuple plus tips to mitigate jealousy (stock image) qhiddkidqixeprw
Lovehoney's Annabelle Knight shared her dos and don'ts of being in a throuple plus tips to mitigate jealousy (stock image)Credit: Getty

Three-way relationships are nothing new, but they are having a moment, thanks in part to the success of the tennis film Challengers.

The movie features a steamy love triangle between Zendaya, Mike Faist, and Josh O'Connor's characters that may have some people thinking twice about monogamy.

Speaking to The U.S. Sun, Lovehoney's sex and relationship expert, Annabelle Knight, shared tips for anyone interested in adding a third person to their couple.

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She first said that every throuple is unique, so some may not like to use this definition at all and may describe themselves in other ways.

People might choose to enter a three-way romance for all sorts of reasons, from wanting to be with multiple sexual partners to desiring a deeper emotional connection with more than one person.

“Flexibility is essential because dynamics in a throuple can shift over time. Being adaptable helps maintain harmony and keeps everyone satisfied," she said.

DOS AND DON'TS

 Knight offered several dos and don’ts of being in a throuple that are paramount to a successful relationship.

“I’d say most importantly, do set clear boundaries from the beginning and revisit them as the relationship evolves," she said.

She added that "no one should feel overlooked" because "equality among partners is crucial."

In addition, "don’t make assumptions about unspoken expectations as these can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.”

When conflicts arise, she recommends approaching them with "patience and active listening," so you can work together to find solutions and strengthen your bond.

LOVE LIMITS

Knight also offered advice to limit jealousy when entering a relationship with two others.

“Jealousy in a throuple can be tricky to navigate, but it’s manageable. The key is open communication and mutual respect," she said.

I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do itI want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it

She explained that it is important to "create a space where everyone feels safe to talk about their feelings without judgment and ensure that clear boundaries are established and then respected."

"Listen to each other’s concerns if anyone is starting to recognize feelings of jealousy and work together to maintain boundaries and respect everyone’s needs," she added.

Building trust is also crucial, which comes through being transparent and honest.

LEARNING LESSONS

Knight said that each partner needs to feel equally valued and included, so managing time and attention is another important element.

"It's okay to do things as a two but if this is more often becoming the norm, perhaps it's time to have a conversation with your partners to check in on how everyone feels," the expert said.

That is why you must "divide your time fairly" among all of the partners so no one feels neglected or like the odd one out.

"Empathy and compassion go a long way as well," she added.

By "understanding and validating each other’s emotions," it helps keep all participants happy.

Lastly, just like with any relationship, Knight said you must not forget to prioritize your alone time, self-care, and personal growth at the cost of being in the relationship.

"It's important to still make sure you’re listening to your needs and are feeling fulfilled in the relationship and check in with yourself as time goes on,” she said.  

Pictured: Mike Faist (left), Zendaya (middle), and Josh O’Connor (right) in a scene from 'Challengers'
Pictured: Mike Faist (left), Zendaya (middle), and Josh O’Connor (right) in a scene from 'Challengers'Credit: AP

Nadgeena Jerome

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