A COUPLE who are at loggerheads over the parenting of their three-month-old baby has desperately sought a solution to their current impasse.
The father, who is a full-time professional athlete, took to the Reddit forum r/AmItheAsshole hoping for some backup and parenting advice over his stay-at-home spouse.
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As the sole earner in their household, the athlete explained in the post that sleep is very important for him to continue to perform.
His wife, however, is sleep-deprived and is beginning to resent their pre-baby agreement.
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He said: “Katie and I talked about this before trying for a kid, and I told her that I can’t compromise my sleep for anything short of an emergency.
“I specifically mentioned that I wouldn’t be waking up during the night to help with the baby, but we could hire a night nurse to help out.”
Despite this, his wife still thinks the arrangement is unfair and wants him to step up and help with their baby during the night.
He’s doing his best to understand her position but is adamant he needs his sleep to do his work well.
“I acknowledged that she has been working hard and not getting much sleep, but we also previously agreed to this arrangement.”
His wife is well-provided for during the daylight hours, with a maid, a laundry service, and a meal delivery service.
It is night-time care that is the sticking point, but Katies refuses to hire a night nurse, a stranger to her baby.
“So we’ve been at an impasse,” he said. “She still doesn’t want to hire help, and I’m still not waking up during the night.
“I spend as much time as I can caring for and bonding with our baby, just not during the night when I’m sleeping.”
Redditors largely understood this new father’s predicament and many related to the difficulty of sleep deprivation that his wife was dealing with.
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"She might not be acting totally rational right now," one commenter said.
"But it’s great that he’s both offering solutions and being patient as she adjusts to this big life change."
Another commenter offered a suggestion, saying: “I absolutely sympathize with your wife, I do. It’s SO hard in the beginning. Give her some grace - sleep deprivation is no joke and can totally change a person (temporarily). Is there maybe even one night a week you can help? An off-season where you can help a bit?”
However, others were less sympathetic toward the husband.
One person wrote sarcastically: “Now she doesn't like it and wants to back out instead of accepting the help. Nope, he's already made an extremely generous and accommodating offer to not being physically present at night.”
Finally, one person suggested that perhaps a bit of flexibility on his part might help.
"I get that it’s not what he agreed to, but if my spouse was in this level of misery I would want to help out," the commenter wrote.
"It’s so insane, I don’t think anything can really prepare you for it.”
