IT didn’t take long for the first laugh-out-loud lie to spew from Prince Harry’s mouth in the trans-Atlantic TV tour for his new autobiography.
After penning 416 pages of vitriol about his family, he insisted to ITV’s Tom Bradby: "Nothing of what I’ve done in this book or otherwise has ever been with any intention to harm them or hurt them."
This was the royal equivalent of Bill Clinton’s infamous "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky" denial of something everyone, including him, knew to be 100 per cent true.
The cold, bitter reality – and we’re talking Siberian levels of seething icy resentment here - is that Harry fully intended to cause maximum harm and hurt to his family with this literary weapon of mass destruction.
That’s been his relentless mission since quitting the Royals, Britain, and public duty three years ago.
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Far from seeking the privacy he pretends to crave, since fleeing to America he’s coughed his confessional guts up to anyone prepared to give him a massive fee to trash his family, from Oprah and Netflix to Spotify and now Penguin Random House.
It’s made him stinking rich, but at what cost?
The more Harry proclaims that he’s ‘never been happier,’ the more wretchedly miserable he looks.
But then how could anyone be happy taking endless pieces of silver to sell out their family and country like this?
The book starts as it means to go on, with him revealing intensely private conversations with his father and brother hours after Prince Philip’s funeral.
Can you imagine a more despicably intrusive thing for a family member to put into the public domain?
Or a more disgustingly hypocritical thing for someone to do when they’ve spent years whining about media intrusion into their family?
Harry’s shamelessness knows no bounds.
Nor does his entitlement, arrogance, and chronic sense of victimhood.
It takes a stupendous brass neck to bleat about how awful your life is from the comfort of your palatial Californian mansion, as much of the world is reeling from a pandemic and the worst financial crisis for decades.
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Yet is anyone surprised?
The more Harry lambasts the British tabloid press as ‘the devil’ – full disclosure: I was a British tabloid editor for ten years and had many personal dealings with the royals including his mother Diana – the more he behaves like the very worst kind of nasty gossipy guttersnipe that he professes to most despise.
He brands King Charles a poor father, calls the Queen Consort Camilla a dangerous villain, and launches constant withering attacks on his brother Prince William and his wife, Catherine, Princess of Wales.
He even reveals, without any permission, that William is circumcised.
Yes, a guy who hates press intrusion, tells the world in a media interview that his brother had the tip of his penis foreskin severed.
You couldn’t make it up!
Some of his revelations are highly dangerous.
Harry’s stupid boast that he killed 25 Taliban fighters while fighting in Afghanistan has enraged his former military colleagues, incensed Muslims around the world, and significantly increased the risk of a retaliatory terror attack against him and his family, the Royals, and members of the British Armed Forces.
It makes an absolute mockery of his claim that he quit Britain to protect his family.
Other revelations are appalling for the way they target defenceless people in his past who now face global public humiliation.
He is especially horrible about a matron named Pat at Ludgrove Prep School of whom he writes: "Pat wasn’t hot. Pat was cold. Pat was small, mousy, frazzled and her hair fell greasily into her always tired eyes."
He goes on to call her "empathy-challenged" but says with no trace of irony that he also used to delight in mocking her physical disabilities from a deviated spine.
Imagine what this woman, assuming she is still alive, must feel reading this? Or what her family must feel?
And the author of these viciously unkind slurs has the bloody gall to now have a website for his charitable foundation proclaiming he’s "leading the way with compassion".
Harry is to compassion what Madonna is to growing old gracefully.
Nothing is off limits for Prince Privacy, from boasting about all the drugs he’s taken to regaling how he lost his virginity behind a pub to an older woman who treated him "like a young stallion".
But how much of all this garbage can we actually believe?
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The most incendiary thing Harry and Meghan have said about the Royals came in their Oprah interview where they accused members of the family of being racist about their unborn child, saying there were "concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born".
Shocked Oprah exclaimed: "They were concerned that if he were too brown, that would be a problem? Are you saying that?"
To which Meghan answered: "If that's the assumption you're making, I think that feels like a pretty safe one."
In other words, the royals had been racist, and that claim was allowed to explode around the world causing huge damage to the reputation of the Royal Family.
Now, a year-and-a-half later, Harry says they never accused the Royals of racism, and it was all dreamt up by the terrible British press.
What disingenuous tripe.
There were direct and immediate consequences of those racism claims at the time.
I lost my job presenting Good Morning Britain because of my refusal to apologise for saying I didn’t believe them.
Then, even more outrageously, Sharon Osbourne lost her job presenting The Talk on CBS for supporting me, because she was supposedly backing a racist.
Yet now, it turns out there was no racism.
In his 60 Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper, Harry is asked why he’d want to keep his royal titles if he feels this way about the Royal Family and the Monarchy.
"What difference would it make?" he retorts.
Hmmm, try $200 million of difference, your royal highness.
As I have said many times, and reiterate now, Harry and Meghan must be stripped of all their remaining titles with immediate effect.
And they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Coronation in May.
They’ve made their treacherous bed, and they can lie in it, just as they lie about everything else.
