DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend says he’s tired or not in the mood when I ask him why he keeps losing his erection.
It’s been happening a lot over the past three months.
I am 31 and my boyfriend’s 33. We’ve been together for six years.
He told me the other night when he was drunk that he just doesn’t want sex.
I became angry because he also said he might have erectile dysfunction.
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But I think he loses his erection in the lead up to sex because he changes his mind.
He’s always the one who makes a move. I don’t try it on with him any more because he’ll decline.
I’m really confused by him. I don’t know if he’s just using me.
DEIDRE SAYS: Some people mean what they say when they are drunk as alcohol lowers their inhibitions.
There are many things that can cause a loss in a man’s libido: stress, depression, smoking, drinking too much, lack of exercise and worrying about their performance in bed.
Ask him if there are worries he is not sharing with you.
Sometimes a conversation is enough to remove the worry and the shame and can help reignite a man’s libido.
If talking doesn’t help, my support pack Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive explains your next steps.
If you still feel the problem is that he can’t be bothered, you will end up feeling increasingly frustrated.
So ask yourself; can you continue in a sexless relationship or is it time to walk away?
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