DEAR DEIDRE: I GAVE my girlfriend her dream threesome and now she is refusing mine. I feel cheated.
We always got a kick sharing our fantasies.
She wanted a threesome with another man, I wanted one with another woman.
I am a 36-year-old man and my partner is 34. We have been together for five years.
One night during sex we agreed to put our words into action.
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The next time we were out on the town, we saw a man who we thought would be a good match.
My girlfriend was pretty tipsy and propositioned him.
He wasn’t sure at first but when we told him that it was our first time too, he agreed and came back to our flat with us.
He is 37. We had another drink and then headed up to our bedroom.
She loved the attention she was getting from both of us, but it nearly killed me to watch her perform oral sex on this guy and then for him to pleasure her in return.
Then, the next morning, she said that even though she had enjoyed the experience at the time, on reflection she felt pretty used and didn’t want to do it again.
I agreed, thinking she meant she didn’t want to do it again with another man.
But when I realised she meant at all, I was really annoyed.
So we did the deed with another man, as she wanted, but now it’s my turn with another woman, she has gone off the idea.
I feel like now she has had her fun, she’s going back on our agreement.
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I would never have agreed to a threesome if it was only going to suit her. I think she is being selfish.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend may well have gone along with the threesome purely to please you.
Either way, she has said she wasn’t comfortable and doesn’t want a repeat.
Do you really want to put her in a position she isn’t entirely happy with?
No one should ever be forced to do anything sexual they aren’t entirely happy with.
And you yourself admitted to feeling jealous during the threesome.
These destructive feelings are common when couples invite a third party into their bed.
Sex should be something special between the two of you, so do you simply need to spice things up?
If so, my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help you fan the flames.