VICKY Pattison has revealed she's been diagnosed with a life-changing health condition that's left her with "dark thoughts".
The TV personality, 35, says she broke down in tears after finally being told what the "unrelenting and debilitating" illness she'd been suffering from for the past five years.
Doctors say Vicky has premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a very severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
Some of the symptoms include insomnia, extreme fatigue, depression, mood swings, extreme hopelessness and dark thoughts.
She told fans: "I have struggled with my periods my whole adult life- but over the last 5 years or so my PMS symptoms have been completely out of control.
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"It has affected my relationships, my work and my quality of life.
"At times, it made me feel like I was going insane - I just do not recognise myself for two weeks of the month and ever so gradually- that time frame is becoming longer.
"Sometimes, when I'm properly in the midst of this and totally consumed by my own dark thoughts I convince myself that I'm never going to get better, that these feelings & thoughts aren't temporary. That this is who I am now. And that terrifies me."
Vicky detailed previously "embarrassing" trips to the doctors, saying: "I was made to feel like I was hysterical and unable to deal with the physical and mental ramifications of a period like every other woman could."
After being pushed to breaking point over the last couple of months, Vicky said she was fed up of feeling "exhausted and overwhelmed" trying to hide her symptoms.
"It's like my brain hates me," she said.
"I am depressed, despondent and hopeless with no interest in things that usually bring me so much joy."
After going to private medical care, Vicky was finally diagnosed with PMDD.
"I cried because I felt f***ing heard in a medical setting for the first time in years and also I cried because hopefully now I can start trying to manage this rather than just 'get on with it' like I feel like women are expected to.
"For the first time in ages.. I feel more positive."
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