DEAR DEIDRE: ALL my relationships have been with women but, secretly, I’ve had sex with several men.
Now I’m confused about whether I’m bisexual or fully gay, and I am anxious about my family finding out.
I’m 25 and have had several girlfriends. But on dating sites I always match with men. Although I enjoy sex with women, I prefer sleeping with men.
I’d like to have a proper relationship with a man, but I can’t because my parents wouldn’t accept it.
So I have to pretend my lovers are colleagues or, once, I even said he was a girlfriend’s uncle.
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The guy I have started seeing, who is 52, doesn’t want to be my dirty secret.
My head is such a mess and I don’t know what I should do.
DEIDRE SAYS: Human sexuality is complicated and many people need to experiment before they are clear on their sexual preference.
Don’t rush into labelling yourself. You may be gay or bisexual. What matters is that you accept yourself.
Talking through your feelings will help.
Contact Switchboard LGBT+ (switchboard.lgbt, 0300 330 0630) for local counselling, support groups and social networks.
And see my Gay Worries and Bisexual Questions support packs.
You don’t have to tell your family – this is your private life.
