DEAR DEIDRE: Two of the most influential men in my life have died, and I feel so guilty that I only feel sad about one of them.
My husband died within a week of his cancer diagnosis. He was 49 and we’d been together since we were teenagers. I’m heartbroken.
I’m 47 and have two teenage daughters. We were busy with the funeral arrangements and I’ve been trying to protect my girls.
Then three days after the funeral was over, my dad had a stroke. He was 80 and never came out of hospital. He died a week later.
I feel numb and I can’t cry for him. I didn’t shed a tear at his funeral although we got on so well. He was lovely and kind. I don’t understand it.
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I lie in bed and cry at night for my husband and then I feel so bad for Dad.
DEIDRE SAYS: You hardly had time to process the death of your husband and you’ve been trying to keep it together for your daughters – it’s hardly surprising that you’ve not come to terms with losing your father too.
You’re processing a huge shock. Losing an elderly parent may have been more subconsciously expected but that doesn’t mean he meant less to you.
Your grief will come in time. Guilt is one of the emotions we may feel when we lose somebody we love.
My support pack on Bereavement explains this in more detail and will show you where to find help.