IMAGINE living in a country where police are so busy dealing with gender complaints that they can’t find time to turn up when your home is ransacked by burglars.
It sounds a bit far-fetched, doesn’t it?
But a Scottish-style law forcing police to investigate hate crimes could make that a reality in England if it were brought in under a Labour government.
On Monday, a new law came into force in Scotland where anybody could possibly be locked up for misgendering somebody else.
Nearly 4,000 supposed hate crimes were reported to police officers in Scotland in just three days.
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Many complaints were about author JK Rowling, who highlighted how bonkers it is to try muzzling free speech — by taking to social media and stating that transgender women are men, and goading cops to arrest her.
Yet this ridiculous mess is not just north of the border.
Although Labour say they won’t introduce it if they win the next general election, party leader Sir Keir Starmer has already stated an intention to bolster hate crime legislation to make sure “every LGBT crime is treated as an aggravated offence”.
I’m sure Sir Keir insists it won’t take more of police time, but it would give forces a green light to get involved when some are already on their knees.
On Thursday, new Freedom of Information figures showed that in some parts of the country cops are taking up to 28 hours to attend burglaries, with response times delayed by 25 per cent in a year.
Waiting times across the country do differ but the average is nine hours and eight minutes.
And three in four burglaries go unsolved.
Imagine having a ruthless burglar break into your home, then rummage through your property and steal or destroy precious belongings and memories.
Utterly hideous
Now imagine waiting in that property feeling bereft and terrified, hoping that a police officer would actually come and take some fingerprints to try to find the criminal.
If that was an elderly person living alone, or a single mum with young kids to care for, we can all imagine how utterly hideous that must be and how vulnerable they might feel.
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Hate crimes should never be tolerated.
But our police forces are already failing victims of burglary in some areas of the country.
They need to raise their game so homeowners feel safe at night.
Dragging them into Scottish-style gender wars would only end in disaster.
Amy, just dump rat Andrew
YOU’VE got to admire actress Amy Nuttall.
Her husband Andrew Buchan cheated on her, moved in with his on-screen lover Leila Farzad then broke the rules he promised to keep when they tried to get their marriage back on track.
Now, Downton Abbey actress Amy has bravely taken him back for a third time.
I hope she does what we all do when we’ve been cheated on – take the time to build up your strength so you can finally realise he doesn’t deserve your love or respect.
Then dump him.
Golden Oldie
HOW wonderful that the world’s oldest man is living here in the UK – in Southport – and not in one of the zones around the world such as Sardinia and Japan, where people often claim to live the longest.
World War Two veteran John Tinniswood has taken the title at 111.
And his recipe for a long life is one that makes sense: Everything in moderation, fish and chips as a treat, good humour, a love for life and a determination not to sit down in a chair all day.
He says his most treasured memory was his wedding day to Blodwen in 1942.
What a man.
Congratulations on being a record- breaker, John.
Kate's good jeans
SKINNY jeans are now officially back in fashion thanks to Kate Moss who has been seen wearing them in the Cotswolds.
What a relief.
For some of us, they never actually went out.
That's rich, Prue
IT seems quite hypocritical that Bake Off star Prue Leith works on a programme that is all about eating sugar, but now thinks the sale of products such as biscuits and ice cream should be restricted.
She blames our Government for “not wanting to act like the nanny state”.
But surely the obesity crisis can’t just be cured by a blanket ban on the sale of products.
There are a lot of influences at play, including having a bit of willpower.
Something Prue doesn’t have.
She admitted last year: “I have a slight addiction to Bounty bars.
“My husband occasionally sticks one in my handbag just to test my willpower. Of course, I always eat it.”
I wonder how she would really feel if she couldn’t get her hands on a bar of tropical paradise.
He 'ad it coming
DOMINIC WEST’S decision to appear in the latest Nationwide advert seems like a strange one to me.
He plays a crass banker who shuts branches to afford his business lunch expenses.
This comes just a few years after he was caught kissing Lily James . . . over a lunch while they were working together.
It led to a cringeworthy photoshoot with his poor wife Catherine, to prove they were still happily loved up.
I bet she’s secretly pleased the advert has been banned for misleading customers.
Big up for my pets
MY dog Layla costs me an absolute fortune, thanks to extensive allergies, kidney disease and cancer that needed chemotherapy.
And when our small, local vet practice in Manchester shut down a couple of years ago we had no choice but to join one of those large group companies that charge a fortune and have recently been slammed for their ridiculous prices.
Layla sees them far too often and on Friday she was in yet again, to have an operation for a broken knee.
So that’s goodbye fancy summer holiday, hello extortionate vet bill.
The only small way I can save money when she has treatment there is to get a prescription for her pills from them and buy the drugs online.
But as crazy as it sounds, I am pleased we have been forced to go with these big guys.
I’ve seen the vets on the ground really do still care and, because they’re such a huge organisation, they can ask questions and share expertise between both colleagues and branches.
I honestly don’t know if our slobbery, moulting Boxer would actually still be with us today without that.
Neigh shame
I CAN’T wait to watch Netflix’s Scoop, detailing Prince Andrew’s disastrous Newsnight interview with the BBC’s Emily Maitlis.
Just the short clip that has been released shows the arrogance of the man.
He turns his nose up at the mere thought of looking at comments about him on social media as though it is beneath him.
So, hours after the show aired for the first time it is no surprise he was riding – and grinning – at Windsor Castle.
Experts say the show, which stars Rufus Sewell as Andrew, will be “very harmful” to the Royal Family.
I hope that isn’t the case, because there is no reason any brother, sister, nephew or child should ever have to pay for the actions of a relation.
