DEAR DEIDRE: My dad tells so many lies it’s unreal. He wants everyone to feel sorry for him but I have finally had enough and completely disowned him.
But even though he is really nasty, I still feel bad for cutting him off and wonder what he’ll be saying about me.
I’m his 45-year-old son. My dad’s 68. He divorced my mum years ago but still accuses my mum of poisoning me against him. It is not true.
He has been bombarding my wife with messages about the past, something he should just leave alone.
He says horrible things about my mum which are inappropriate - like she was mental and unstable.
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The truth is I think she had depression while she was with him because he treated her so badly.
He can’t stop boasting about his life now. He has a new partner but she stirs up family issues the whole time - trying to turn one relative against another.
Recently she’s been in dad’s ear telling him we don’t respect him in the same way we respect my mum.
She even kicked off recently that my mum visited the hospital before my dad when my son was delivered early.
He isn’t the father I need him to be, talking at me and lecturing me. He constantly interrupts people to talk about himself. He never showed any interest in me or my little family. It's extremely hurtful.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s painful to know your dad is bad mouthing you and your mum. No matter what you say or do, he’s not going to change.
Divorce can leave those involved feeling hostile and resentful. It’s not uncommon for one of the injured parties to lie about their ex.
The relationship is toxic, and it’s not surprising you’ve disowned him. Talking to a therapist could help and my support pack on counselling explains more about how it works.
Also contact Stand Alone which supports adults estranged from family members (www.standalone.org.uk).
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