DEAR DEIDRE: I’m at my wits’ end with my daughter who has been nothing but trouble since she became a teen.
I’ve tried everything to help her but she just throws it all back in my face, and I’m at the point of breaking off contact.
She’s 30 and I’m her 58-year-old dad.
When she was little she was so wonderful - a real daddy’s girl - sweet and kind and happy.
But at 14 something changed. She became rude, surly, stopped studying and started hanging around with ‘bad boys’.
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Since then, her life has never got back on track. She has no career, no stable home, and she survives on benefits.
I’ve bailed her out financially so many times, let her cry on my shoulder when yet another cad broke her heart, only to see her make exactly the same mistakes again and again.
She’s lied to me and broken my heart, and I can’t see a way back for our relationship.
I still love her but seeing her upsets me so much I feel it would be healthier to leave her to it.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sometimes, however much we unconditionally love someone, it’s too painful.
Don’t give up on her but perhaps take some time away from this situation.
You may find it helpful to contact Standalone, an organisation for adults estranged from family members (standalone.org.uk), which has specific advice for parents.
You need to look after yourself both emotionally and physically so you don’t become weighed down by this. Do talk to your GP if you find yourself feeling depressed.
You may find it helpful to talk this through with a counsellor. Read my support pack on Counselling.
