DEAR DEIDRE: I was falsely accused of rape by my ex girlfriend and, since then, I can’t ejaculate.
I have no problem reaching orgasm when I masturbate. but during intercourse with a woman, I never get there.
I’m 32 and single, since I split with my ex, 34.
She accused me of rape after I broke up with her, as she wanted revenge.
Even though the charges were dropped because there was no evidence, it almost ruined my life and cost me several friendships.
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Since then, I’ve started dating again but I’ve lost all my confidence. I used to love sex and - if anything - I had to hold myself back.
Now, I have the opposite problem. I’m seeing a lovely woman, 29, but the fact I can’t finish is ruining things.
I can go on for hours with no result. She thinks it’s because I don’t fancy her enough.
She doesn’t know about what happened with my ex, and I don’t want her to know. People always say there’s no smoke without fire.
What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: Being falsely accused of a serious crime like rape is devastating.
It’s not surprising that it’s had a large effect on your confidence and on your ability to enjoy sex.
Your inability to ejaculate is almost certainly a psychological problem. You’re not allowing yourself to let go.
Talking to someone would really help. Contact FASO (www.false-allegations.org.uk, 03335 779377), who help people who’ve been falsely accused.
Do open up to your girlfriend if you can and think about having counselling.
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