DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner has turned against me after I shared details with her of my sexual past.
I am 32 and my partner is 29. We have been together for five years.
I had several sexual experiences with male friends before we got together. After four years I felt ready to tell her, but now her attitude has changed towards me.
She is very negative and has even said she doesn’t find me attractive any more.
We can’t break up because our lives are so entwined. We co-own a flat and two dogs. I’m worried she may tell relatives, who are very traditional, about my past.
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Both families would really frown upon my behaviour.
I have hit rock bottom trying to work out a way to accept myself and how to make my partner happy.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have been honest in sharing information about your sexual history with your partner.
Many people who identify as straight have had experiences with someone of the same gender.
If your partner grew up hearing that only mixed gender sex is acceptable, this may explain her reaction.
If she can’t accept you, then you’ll struggle to make this relationship a success.
You deserve someone who is willing to respect and care for you, no matter what happened in the past.
Talking to a therapist would help you unlock this stalemate.
My support pack Understanding Counselling should help.
