After being invited to a friend's birthday dinner, a woman is refusing to buy them a present. She explained that while she'll help cover the cost of her friend's meal because it's not a milestone birthday, she doesn't see why she should also purchase a gift. Writing into a money advice column, she explained that she loves her friends and enjoys celebrating their birthdays but feels like they're too old to be worrying about presents.
Although she doesn't want to come across as petty, her friends celebrate their birthday every year, which is something she doesn't do herself. "I think we're at the age where we don't need to be buying presents, but then sometimes I feel weird if I show up empty-handed. What's the best approach for this?" she wrote.
Her question was answered by Jo Abi as a part of the Money Manners column, a weekly column published on 9Honey that deals with money etiquette matters that can result in awkward scenarios. Jo gave her a simple "hell yeah you do", explaining that she still needs to get them a present, but it doesn't have to be anything extravagant.
"You are going to face so many moments like this where money is a factor and there's a tussle in your head between the 'right' thing to do, the 'financially savvy' thing to do and what you won't regret," she wrote. "You will never regret giving your friend a small gift for their birthday, in addition to joining them in their celebration and covering the tab. You could regret not seeing their eyes light up when you hand them a gift bag. And yes, it does feel weird to show up empty-handed."
She suggested that she could buy her friend something affordable like a nice bottle of wine, chocolates or nice toiletries. It's important to purchase something they will love but it doesn’t have to be so expensive that you break your budget. Jo added: "Friendships are precious, and nights like this become less and less the busier you all become as you get older, so treasure them." She concluded that the woman will enjoy herself more having given them a small gift and then they'll be free to make the most of their time together.
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