DEAR DEIDRE: I LIVE in my dad’s second home for a small rent.
It sounds like a great deal but the reality is that the house is decrepit and not fit for purpose.
I’m a 24-year-old male student and trying to finish my masters degree but the house is so cold and uncomfortable.
I have severe asthma and the dust often sets off a bad attack.
I would move out if I could but I feel trapped.
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My Dad and his partner are in their late 60s. Dad began renovations on the house two years ago.
The work was only meant to last three months but it’s been left unfinished and is in a horrific state.
There are rooms without ceilings and walls where most of the plaster has been knocked off.
Dad lives in a separate house and says he’s working on mine as quickly as possible.
Recently I kicked up a fuss, and started asking him and his girlfriend to get a move on with the renovations.
They had just returned from a big cruise and are planning to go on safari in a month.
I asked if they could prioritise my living conditions.
Dad’s girlfriend started screaming at me that I was a spoiled ungrateful brat.
She has children the same age as me and I would like to ask how she would feel if her son was living in the same conditions.
I wish she had been more supportive rather than encouraging my dad to go on holiday.
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What really grates is Dad talks about himself as if he’s a martyr because I live in his house for hardly any rent.
Other family members have expressed their concerns about my living conditions but Dad won’t listen.
Am I being unreasonable?
DEIDRE SAYS: You are in a very difficult situation but you shouldn’t be living in atrocious conditions, especially with such a serious health condition.
I would urge you to look into alternative living arrangements.
Could you move into your dad’s other home or live with another family member?
When you are all feeling calmer, it would certainly be worth talking to your dad about how this is affecting you.
I realise you aren’t paying a lot of rent but you are still entitled to live in a healthy environment.
Please contact shelter.org.uk for more advice on your rights.
