DEAR DEIDRE: Although I know people won’t approve, I can’t stop lusting after a man who is 30 years younger than me.
He’s my daughter’s friend and I think he’s perfect. I’ve never connected with a man so well.
I’m 52 and divorced, and he’s 22 - the same age as my daughter. They share a flat together.
From the moment I set eyes on him, I was smitten.
But it’s not just his fit body and gorgeous smile that attracts me. We have so much in common and have such a laugh.
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I’m not deluded - this isn’t a one-sided thing. When I visit my daughter he makes an effort to talk to me alone.
Sometimes, he stays up over a drink when she’s gone to bed.
We swapped numbers and chat sometimes. I can’t stop thinking about him and constantly check my messages to see if he’s been in touch.
I feel like a teenager again. Seeing him gives me the flutters.
I have no interest in the men I meet on dating apps - they’re all boring, bald, fat and bitter, with too much baggage.
Assuming that he became single, could this relationship work out? After all, age is just a number.
My daughter has no idea how I feel. I’m sure she’d be horrified.
DEIDRE SAYS: You may feel like a teenager again, but you’re not. You need to be a grown-up.
Think about your daughter, who would feel betrayed or shut out by both her mum and her friend.
You can’t be sure he doesn’t just see you as a mother figure. Maybe he’s flattered.
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You might have interests in common, but you’re at very different life stages.
He may want to go travelling, or have children.
Age is more than just a number - it creates an imbalance of power too.
See my support pack on Age Gaps.
Your strong feelings indicate you do want a relationship. My support pack, Finding the Love of Your Life, should help.
