DEAR DEIDRE: After years of secretly wearing women’s underwear, I decided it was finally time to come clean to my wife.
But she called me a freak and now she can’t even look me in the eye. Now I’m worried our relationship will never be the same again.
I’m 52, my wife is 49, and we’ve been together for 20 years.
Although I’ve had a thing for women’s thongs since I was a young man, I only cross-dressed in private. But I often fantasised about having sex while wearing them.
It was something I was always very ashamed of and didn’t know how to talk about.
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Then one day my wife found my stash of underwear. Instead of trying to explain it away, I decided it was time to tell her the truth.
She very quickly voiced her disgust. She said I had something wrong with me and that I needed help.
My heart breaks knowing she thinks so little of me now. How can I fix this?
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not a freak. It’s up to you what underwear you want to wear and many men enjoy cross-dressing.
It’s also not usual to be turned on when you do this.
Your wife is probably both shocked and upset that you kept a part of yourself from her.
Give her time to adjust, make it clear you’re the same man, and hopefully, in time, she will come around.
You should both read my support pack, Cross-dressing Support, which will help her understand your needs, and also details sources of specialist support.
