DEAR DEIDRE: Many years ago, as a teenager, I was raped.
Traumatically, it was the first time I had sexual intercourse, I got pregnant and had to have an abortion.
Years later I got married but I couldn’t bring myself to tell my husband about it, still it always affected our sex life - he once accused me of being ‘frigid’.
I’m 50 and he’s 53. The assault happened when I was 18, a few years before we met.
I somehow dealt with it until I found out he’d been unfaithful early on in our marriage.
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It left me feeling so alone, unattractive and betrayed.
He said it meant nothing and couldn’t understand why I was so angry and upset.
You advised me to get rape counselling - assuring me it wasn’t too late. You sent me your support packs about Sexual Assault and about Counselling.
You also said I should try to be honest with my husband about what I’d been through.
I followed your advice and opened up to him. He was horrified and upset, but also very supportive.
It’s really helped to bring us closer and I wish I’d told him sooner.
Thank you Deidre.
DEIDRE SAYS: Talking to your husband about this must have been incredibly hard. I’m so pleased you’ve managed to share the pain with him and become closer in the process.
I hope things continue to improve for you.