DEAR DEIDRE: I have a long-term gorgeous girlfriend, two little daughters and a job I love – people think I’ve got it all.
But I harbour a shameful secret. I worry I’m addicted to porn and it’s starting to damage my relationship.
I’m 34 and my girlfriend is 33. I’ve always watched adult content regularly, around twice a week, but this jumped when my girlfriend had our first daughter four years ago.
She was constantly exhausted and I didn’t want to pester her for sex so turned to pornography.
If I’m honest I probably watch porn on my own at least twice or three times a day now.
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Now whenever she is up for a little kiss and cuddle, I can’t rise to the occasion.
She’s started to get really narky and even accused me of cheating on her.
I can get an erection when I’m alone, but not when I’m with my girlfriend, what is wrong?
DEIDRE SAYS: You have become over-reliant on pornography, to a point that it’s dulling your real-life responses.
Pornography is designed to hook you in so that you keep going back more regularly, and for increasingly extreme content.
The result is you become dependent on your own touch and more extreme scenarios – any other experience doesn’t have the same effect.
But don’t despair – you can re-establish that loving connection with your girlfriend but it does mean drastically cutting your pornography use.
My support pack Pornography Worry explains more.
