DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING a threesome was always my biggest fantasy, but now I fear it’s ruined my sex life.
I’m a man of 28 and my girlfriend is 25. We’ve been together for two years and I thought we had something special.
I had always dreamed of having a threesome. I had mentioned it to my partner casually but she never seemed interested.
Then out of nowhere she told me she was open to giving it a go.
I was taken aback at first but also excited by the prospect.
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After a few weeks of searching on suitable dating apps, we finally matched with a woman we both liked, and arranged a date.
We all went to the pub together, had a few drinks and, eventually, ended up back at our flat.
Everything happened rather quickly and it got super-steamy. I was enjoying myself until I saw how intimate my girlfriend and the other woman were getting. Suddenly it felt wrong and I started to feel left out. I eventually decided to leave the room and when I went back minutes later they were still having sex.
They didn’t stop for a second to see if I was all right.
Since then, I’ve been struggling to move past it and my jealousy has been getting the better of me.
The worst part is that my girlfriend doesn’t even seem to want to have sex with me any more.
I love her so much but I’m not sure I can get over this.
DEIDRE SAYS: Threesomes maybe sound fun, exciting and harmless, but often they lead to some unexpected consequences.
Welcoming anyone into your sex life is always a risk.
In any scenario it can be easy for one of the threesome to feel left out, and the stakes within your relationship are of course even higher.
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It’s understandable that you felt hurt and jealous seeing your girlfriend with someone else.
It’s likely she’s now picking up on your negative feelings towards her, and is in turn avoiding intimacy because of this.
If you really love her and see a future with her, don’t give up on the relationship. Take the time to talk openly and honestly with her about the situation.
Hopefully, a bit of communication will help you get back on track.
My support pack, How To Look After Your Relationship, should help.
