DEAR DEIDRE: This isn’t something I’m proud to admit, but I went to bed with my partner’s teenage daughter.
At 23, she’s actually nearer my age than my partner - but I know it’s still wrong. Now I’m not sure what to do.
I’m 28 and my partner is 42. We’ve been together for three years and I spend most of the week at her house.
When I first met my partner, I didn’t take much notice of her daughter, who seemed very immature for her age, out with her friends all the time.
I’ve always liked an older woman, and I was completely in lust with my partner.
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But over the last few months, our passion has cooled a little. I want sex every night, while she seems to only want it once or twice a week.
In the meantime, her daughter started staying up late sometimes, confiding in me about her boyfriend problems.
Sometimes, she’d text me while I was at work or my flat.
If I’m honest, I noticed she was a bit flirty, and found it flattering. Like her mum, she is good-looking, with a cracking figure and beautiful long dark hair.
Then one evening, she told me she’d split up with her boyfriend. My partner was at a work do.
She started crying and I comforted her, giving her a hug on the sofa. Somehow, we ended up kissing and she led me to her bedroom.
Although we didn’t have sex, I held her, and we hugged and kissed. It would have gone further, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to take advantage.
Since then, I’ve felt terribly guilty but I also really want to do it again - and more.
And she keeps sending me suggestive texts. I feel it’s just a matter of time before we have full sex.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner’s daughter may be an adult, but as her ‘stepfather’ figure what you’ve done is at best totally inappropriate.
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You are jeopardising not only your relationship with your partner, but also hers with her mother.
Imagine how hurt your partner would feel by this double betrayal.
So you need to be firm and tell her nothing can happen between you.
Hopefully she will see reason. My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you have this conversation.
Avoid being left alone with her and block her number to give you the space to regain sense.
Perhaps, given what’s occurred, it’s time for you to question whether you are happy in your relationship and either to work on it together, or to decide to split.
