DEAR DEIDRE: TO keep my eating disorder under wraps, I wear baggy clothes and avoid meeting friends for meals.
Even my husband doesn’t realise because I hide my body from him and trick him into thinking I’m healthy and eating well.
I believe I’m becoming anorexic. My clothes hang off me and when I checked my BMI online, it said I was severely underweight.
I can tell you how many calories there are in every item of food, and I’ve started going to online forums to get weight-loss tips.
I’m 30 and my husband is 32. Part of me feels I need help, but the other part is enjoying getting thinner. I keep thinking I will stop starving myself once I reach my target.
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The problem is, once I reach it, I change the goalposts and set myself a new target.
Yet when I see images of anorexic women online, they look much thinner than me, so I tell myself I’m fine.
Then again, I am always cold, have no energy, and my hair and nails are weak.
Recently, my husband told me I’ve changed as a person over the last couple of years.
He says I’m much less sociable and more moody. He’s right. But I don’t want anyone to find out my secret.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your secrecy and the mental games you play with yourself, combined with your unhealthy weight loss, point to anorexia.
Often, an eating disorder begins as a reaction to a difficult event or trauma. It is a form of control.
Please ask for professional help. See beateatingdisorders.org.uk to find local support. Nobody will judge you, but it is important that you talk to someone.
My support pack Eating Disorders has more information and links.
Do try to talk to your husband and be honest with him, so you are not alone in dealing with this.
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